Wednesday Night...Time for bed (finally!)

Finally...and end to a very long day.  Lolly did not feel well at all today.  She was in pain (that darned Pneumatosis coli and Pancreatitis, I suspect) most of the day, and by this evening, she was exhausted, irritable, and extremely agitated.  She was so overtired that she couldn't relax.  We quit giving her Benadryl after noticing she was having a reaction when we gave it to her- she'd cough and cough in her sleep.  So, this evening, we gave her Dilaudid and Valium, but she was soooo agitated that it didn't do anything for her. 

Tonight, I really thought she was going to LOSE IT for good.  She was thrashing all over her bad, unable to be comforted, and messing with the tube in her nose.  She didn't want me or anyone, and would not calm down.  Finally, I took her out of bed, layed her in her wagon, and got her out of her room.  She nearly fell asleep on our walk, but was furious when I put her back in bed.  It is so hard to watch her- scared, confused, and in pain.  So, so hard.  I can't believe all that she's had to endure.  :( 

My mom and SIL, Heather, were here tonight.  Since Lolly couldn't be comforted, we let her unwind in her hospital bed.  She was so agitated that she fell asleep- sitting up.  It was the strangest thing.  Every time I tried to lay her down, she woke up, angry and crying.  Finally, she let me carry her, and fell asleep in my arms. 

It's heartbreaking to watch all that my girl has to go through, yet, I know that Heavenly Father is mindful of her.  I keep thinking of Trey, and am grateful for all that we went through with him- it has given me hope.  My cousin, Laurie, was here tonight, and asked me how I thought this would affect Lolly's personality.  Lolly has always been 100% stubborn and determined to do everything her way.  I don't know if this experience will soften her (she's definitely not getting her way right now!), but it gives me hope to see the sweet, happy, cheerful kid that Trey is turning out to be.  His trials and painful experiences didn't break him- I think they helped mold him into a very special person.  He is a wonderful boy with a funny sense of humor.  I love the person he is, and I'm so proud of him.

Tomorrow has to be a better day, right?